Mommy worry
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Good morning!
After travelling for work for a few days, it feel oh-so good to be home. Traveling has become really hard for me. I assume it’s difficult for anyone — leaving their family, kid, dog, home — but aside from feeling like I’m missing out on the home life, I’m often struck with anxiety.
Crazy thoughts circulate my mind, despite me trying to push them out.
Thoughts like — “Dear God, please don’t let the plane go down, Sawyer needs a mommy,” and “If something horrible happens, what’s my quickest route home,” and “Thank God! I’ve landed safely — please don’t let me get hit by a truck while I’m driving the last 5 miles,” or “If god-forbid something happen to me, I hope and pray the Mister eventually marry someone else — no boy should be without a mother,” or “WHEN (not if — see the escalating insanity?) I die, I really hope the Mister and Sawyer go through all my things and find the scrapbook I was starting to put together for his 2nd year, as well as his birthday party plans.”
People, I am losing it.
What has happened to the care-free laid back woman I know and love? She’s slowly being enveloped my this crazy worry-filled maniac I barely recognize.
If I’m not careful, I’m going to start turning blue.
Mommies — please tell me it gets better. Please tell me I’m not alone in my insanity.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go count my blessings 
Trust me, it gets better. That’s not to say you’ll never be anxious, but the overwhelming feelings of worry subside
encouraging! xo
I feel like you took the words right out of my head. This is me. EVERY. DAY.
at least we’re not alone
I’m not a mother, but I’ve dealt with an anxiety disorder for a very long time. My suggestion would be to go to cognitive behavioral therapy for a little while to get some good tools regarding how to quiet your anxious thoughts. It will make you feel better and I think it will be good for your son as well. My father has always been extremely anxious (and unwilling to seek help) and I think that to a large degree, I learned to worry from him. When I have kids, I really want to protect them from my needless worrying- it’s one reason I’m very proactive about dealing with my anxiety.
It is totally normal, called the “new mom freakout stage”. our kids were 4 and 2 before we could take a weekend away from them.
ha! i feel advanced, then
Shelly – great points! In all honesty, this really only happens when I’m away. Not when I’m with Sawyer — and it doesn’t affect my behavior towards him or anything around him whatsoever (thank god my son still thinks I’m cool
). It’s not to a point where it’s debilitating or causes me NOT to do something — I still went on my trip, had productive meetings and to anyone else, I was completely “normal.” But these thoughts are new for me — I’ve never had to worry about anyone other than myself (and I guess the Mister). They say when you have a child, your heart is forever outside your body. I guess it’s natural to think about it every now and then 
If it ever gets to a point where it affects my overall mood/demeanor/decisions/etc. I’ll be sure to get help. Until then, I’ll lean on other mommies who feel the same. And maybe eat more chocolate
I actually don’t feel this way but I also haven’t been away yet.
I’ve been dying to know how the sleeping in the bed thing is going.
It’s a Mom’s prerogative to worry! I’m the same way now with my Ellie, but I realize that “Worry = I care.” And if that means that I’m more careful about my safety and that of my family because of that worry, then I’m a better person for it.
However I do check myself when I worry about things that are beyond my control. I don’t ever want Ellie to get hurt or to have something happen to me or my family. But if something does happen, I’m at peace knowing that the love & support of friends, grandparents, aunts and uncles will see us through.