After travelling for work for a few days, it feel oh-so good to be home. Traveling has become really hard for me. I assume it’s difficult for anyone — leaving their family, kid, dog, home — but aside from feeling like I’m missing out on the home life, I’m often struck with anxiety.
Crazy thoughts circulate my mind, despite me trying to push them out.
Thoughts like — “Dear God, please don’t let the plane go down, Sawyer needs a mommy,” and “If something horrible happens, what’s my quickest route home,” and “Thank God! I’ve landed safely — please don’t let me get hit by a truck while I’m driving the last 5 miles,” or “If god-forbid something happen to me, I hope and pray the Mister eventually marry someone else — no boy should be without a mother,” or “WHEN (not if — see the escalating insanity?) I die, I really hope the Mister and Sawyer go through all my things and find the scrapbook I was starting to put together for his 2nd year, as well as his birthday party plans.”
People, I am losing it.
What has happened to the care-free laid back woman I know and love? She’s slowly being enveloped my this crazy worry-filled maniac I barely recognize.
If I’m not careful, I’m going to start turning blue.
Mommies — please tell me it gets better. Please tell me I’m not alone in my insanity.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go count my blessings