There are no words…(but that’s never stopped me from trying)

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Nothing like starting the day off on the right foot — don’t you just love encouraging commenters?

I was going to let this go — to take the high road. To, you know, be a bigger person. But questioning my love and excitement for my child? Oh no you didn’t.

For those of you who read the blog regularly, I know I don’t have to defend myself. You know by now I have an awkward, self-deprecating and “interesting” sense of humor. And you also know how excited I was to find out the Mister and I were going to be a MOMMY AND DADDY! And how much I LOVE him and our life together. I couldn’t wait for the next chapter.

So when I get a comment attacking me and my role as a new mother, it made me want to cry a little.

Sure, I make jokes on the blog, but I’ve been honest with all of you. Pregnancy has been hard for me! And in choosing to put my life out on the internet, I’ve made light of the situation while still keeping it “real” for all of you. It hasn’t been like the movies or sweet greeting cards. And as I’ve explained, not much of me has felt beautiful.

But let me make one thing clear — I cannot wait to hold my son in my arms. And I’d go to hell and back if that’s what it took to have my baby at the end of all of this.

So to those I have offended, I am sorry that I’m not pretending that this is a cake-walk. I’m sorry that I’m not living up to your cliche fantasy of the “glowing pregnant woman.” Instead, I’m surrounding myself with the people I love, making the best of it and keeping my eyes on the prize — my son.

So don’t knock me down for not loving the “process.” For not rejoicing with gratitude over my bloody snot, acidic heartburn or nausea. But do know that I am grateful. That I am so proud to be the first “home” for my son and that for the rest of my life I’d go on living uncomfortably just to see him smile.

In the meantime, I’d like to let you know that you accomplished what you wanted — you *almost* ruined my morning and yes, tears were shed.

But you haven’t won.

Sure, you made me feel like crap, but you can’t take away my joy and anticipation. You can’t take away all the moments the Mister and I have spent day dreaming about who our son will look like, and if he’ll have his daddy’s amazing blue eyes or infectious laugh. And while my ribs have been socked around a bit, you can’t take away my visions of him running on the soccer field, kicking the winning goal. And you certainly can’t take away how thrilled I am that in just two months, the Mister and I will meet the man of our dreams — the little boy we made from scratch.

So take your negative attitude somewhere else, please – I don’t want bullies anywhere near my son.

This entry was posted on Friday, December 10th, 2010 at 10:06 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

30 Responses to “There are no words…(but that’s never stopped me from trying)”

  1. BakinMama said:

    You go girl! The people who know you also know that you are a genuine, caring person and will make a great mother, i’m sure!

    Posted on | Reply
  2. Britni said:

    What trolls. Seriously. You are such a beautiful person and anyone can see how thrilled you are to become a new mother. Don’t let them bother you, Shannon. You are incredible. Love and hugs to you, babe.

    Posted on | Reply
  3. Kloe said:

    Hi Shannon,
    reading this post made me so angry for you!
    I know how excited – but also realistic – you are about this HUGE journey!
    Good job on not letting those people bring you down with them!
    You guys are the cutest (about to be) parents I have ever seen!
    Looking forward for our next MELT outing :-)

    Posted on | Reply
  4. Cleshopaholic said:

    Good for you!!!! And thank you for telling it like it is.

    Posted on | Reply
  5. Mason said:

    Hey Shannon,

    As a male “lurker” on your blog, I had to address this. I am a father myself and I have LOVED EVERY SINGLE POST you’ve written about motherhood- they are my favorite! My wife and I love how honest you’ve been. But you are too hard on yourself — you have been incredibly charming and loving throughout every single one of you “complaints” — (If i’d call them that) and it’s been a joy following along in the process. I wish you every luck and I’m certain you are going to be an incredible mother.

    The Mister is lucky to have a woman like you and your son is so blessed to have you both as parents.

    God Bless.

    Posted on | Reply
  6. Tweets that mention There are no words…(but that’s never stopped me from trying) | The Daily Balance -- Topsy.com said:

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by The Daily Balance, The Daily Balance. The Daily Balance said: New blog post: There are no words…(but that's never stopped me from trying) http://bit.ly/fmPTZH [...]

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  7. Stephanie @ The Cookie Battle said:

    Some people just troll around the internet looking for other people to tear down for whatever reason they find. Don’t take their comments personally, they are so unhappy with their own lives and they just want you to be unhappy with them. I personally love how honest you have been, and so do 99% of your readers. Don’t let this one person make you change what you’re doing on the blog!

    Posted on | Reply
  8. Heather said:

    Wow, good for you for defending yourself! Whoever says they are happy 100% of the time they are pregnant is lying. And I personally love your honesty! Who wants to hear about puppy dogs and rainbows all the time? That’s not real life!
    Proud of you for sticking up for yourself, sister. You go!

    Posted on | Reply
  9. Chelsea said:

    Good for you! Those people can suck it!

    I have to say though that I did love being pregnant and I’m not lying but I also loved labor. I think I’m just a glutton for punishment!

    Posted on | Reply
  10. Amy B @ Second City Randomness said:

    I think your supposed “attitude” is just fine! There is so much that I feel like no one ever talks about. I still find out more about pregnancy/birth from my friends who are or have recently been pregnant. Clearly that comment came from someone who’s never experienced it or they were somehow chosen as the only person ever to have the perfect pregnancy (in that case, lucky them).

    I feel sarcasm and dry humor is severely underappreciated. :p

    Posted on | Reply
  11. VeggieGirl said:

    Anonymous commenters suck. Period.

    Posted on | Reply
  12. Tina said:

    That’s the inside joke-all the ladies who have kids pretend its all roses & sunshine being pregnant-they don’t tell you what really happens! I’m sure there are some ladies who do like being pregnant (Chelsea above commenter). I was not one of them-I thought it sucked and couldn’t wait for it to be over-both times! Does that mean I love my kids less? Of course not. That girl probably doesn’t even have any kids. The (healthy) pregnancy is just how you get there-its the rest of their lives that matter the most-the adults you form & send out into the world. So again, as Chelsea said-tell them to suck it! You are very kind & sweet, by the way-I’m not sure I would have handled it as well!

    Posted on | Reply
  13. Alana said:

    Good for you. Tell it like it is and let the trolly haters go on their way.

    Posted on | Reply
  14. Leigh said:

    You go, Shannon! The negative commenting troll/bully can tuck her tail and run away in shame.

    I love that you always keep it real and don’t sugar-coat things for the blog – it keeps me reading. The blogs that everything is always perfect and easy as pie just aren’t as interesting.

    Thanks for sharing this part of your life with us.

    Posted on | Reply
  15. Jenn @ Frost Bites said:

    I’m glad you addressed the “hater”. DO NOT let anyone make you feel a certain way….it is how YOU react to it that makes you the better person. Know deep inside that you are good, honest and sincere!

    Posted on | Reply
  16. Liz said:

    Anyone who reads your blog regularly knows how positive you are, even in very difficult circumstances.

    That commenter basically said she’s never been pregnant. I haven’t either, but it seems like for some ladies, it’s awesome (no allergies, glowing skin, etc.), and for everyone else – it pretty much sucks.

    I don’t know where the myth about awesome, glowing, magical pregnancies started – I’m guessing it’s from moms who want grandbabies. :) Regardless, it’s time for that myth to stop. People do unpleasant things all the time to get to a desired end goal. It doesn’t mean they are ungrateful if they need to vent when it gets tough. Pregnancy seems like one of those things.

    And…I would bet any money that a lot of the women who try desperately to get pregnant probably also end up thinking it sucks.

    Posted on | Reply
  17. Teri said:

    My children are now 11 & 14, and I wish I had had a blogger back in the dark ages of my pregnancies who was so honest; letting me know that on those days when I was hating life that it was OK and there were other mother’s out there experiencing what I was experiencing. Overall I liked pregnancy, but didn’t necessarily ENJOY it and that was absolutely no indicator of the unconditional love I have for my children — I don’t doubt that your love for your son is to the moon and back! Thanks for being human. Oh, and the nausea….it never really goes away, your kids just bring it about by getting hurt, being rejected and telling disgusting jokes.

    Posted on | Reply
  18. thedailybalance said:

    Thanks so much for the kind words, everyone! You have no idea how much it means to have your support ;)

    Posted on | Reply
  19. Sarah for Real said:

    Way to go! Poo on all the haters!

    I always look at nasty comments as a sign that your blog is growing! I look forward to the day I get my first troll :D (Half joking here, obviously.)

    Posted on | Reply
  20. Erin (Travel Eat Repeat) said:

    Good for you! You shouldn’t let the naysayers get you down — only you know what is right for yourself and can express what you’re feeling in the moment!

    Posted on | Reply
  21. Mandy said:

    I’m glad you wrote that post before. It’s nice to hear an honest opinion of what pregnancy is going to be like before going into it. I don’t want to hear that it’s going to be all flowers and rainbows. Being truthful about your experience is what counts to me as a reader.

    Posted on | Reply
  22. Diana @ frontyardfoodie said:

    Obviously that woman was never pregnant……

    Being pregnant is super rough and if you cant be ‘real’ about it for ten months you won’t be able to get through it! Pregnancy is amazing and a wonderful time but physically and emotionally it’s TRYING.

    You’re doing great:)

    Posted on | Reply
  23. Lattes and dogs always put a smile on my face | The Daily Balance said:

    [...] Contact Me « There are no words…(but that’s never stopped me from trying) [...]

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  24. Carly said:

    I’m TERRIFIED of having children! Seriously… life changing, morning sickness, body changing, discomfort… terrifies me. As far as I see it, you are EMBRACING your pregnancy, knowing what is on the other side! I can’t believe that someone who has been through a pregnancy would write something like that, let alone someone who perhaps hasn’t. Life isn’t always rainbows and puppy dogs, and neither is pregnancy. Clearly this troll isn’t one of your regular readers, or else he/she would know better. Amen for you speaking back, and continuing to be as honest as you always are.

    Posted on | Reply
  25. Mishy said:

    i’ve enjoyed your pregnancy posts, how honest you’ve been about the rough times. i don’t think one or two negative commenters out of the dozens of positive ones you get, should really set you off or upset you. you have plenty of supporters, there’s going to be someone mean out there every now and then, that’s life.

    and to Diana – i think that was the point the troll was trying to make – that SOME women CAN’T get pregnant, so saying, “obviously that woman was never pregnant” is pretty low, don’t you think?

    Posted on | Reply
  26. Twila said:

    I love reading your blog and have never been offended! When I was pregnant and had a newborn I would be brutally honest about the yucky parts and would always laugh at those I offended. I often jokingly say I didn’t like my son for the first 12 weeks and I swear people act like they are going to call Social Services! Keep being you and make fun of being pregnant it is the only way you can survive the 10 months of complications! All worth it but somedays horrible : )

    Posted on | Reply
  27. jassy said:

    hi…i’m pretty sure that all the pain/labor you’ll be going through is going to be worth it :)

    Posted on | Reply
  28. Lindsey @ SoundEats said:

    for what it’s worth, i’m one of those woman who couldn’t/ would have a very hard time trying to conceive kids right now. it’s not that big of a deal for me currently, because we want to wait a few more years, but still….we want a family more than anything and it is strange to think that i may not be able to create a child. that said — i 100% never thought anything you have said was insensitive or anything. heck – i know that WHEN i do get pregnant, it will probably suck and i’ll probably be a miserable, whining mess half the time. ;)

    don’t worry about haters. just enjoy your life. :)

    Posted on | Reply
  29. Pregnancy Post Round-up | The Daily Balance said:

    [...] My rebuttal to my first bout with internet trolls [...]

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